When I woke up from this daily nightmare that I physically lived out, it was as if I had been hit by a mountain of rocks, and knew if was time to take back my heart! I had no one to blame, BUT MYSELF!!! I began planning my mental, emotional and physical escape. I had to retrace my steps, and figure out when I became addicted to him, rather than loving him. I went back to the root of the problem, and began digging.

You see, when I was younger, although I saw my parents have a successful marriage, I also saw others that I trusted around me, cheat and lie, and women who accepted mental, emotional and physical abuse. Somehow, society use to be taught not to talk about certain things, and that you’re suppose to hang in there, regardless… Deep down, I knew none of this was right, but i used it as a crutch, and I thought it was too late to get out; but I never lost that voice that continued to scream in my ear — RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, and don’t look back!

I didn’t leave right away, not without a few more lessons that chipped away at my heart. No matter what anyone said, I had to leave when I knew I had enough, because you manage to drown out logic. Everyday was the day… Then “THAT” day, I began to pray for release! I cut off all communication, I began living for me, and I no longer allowed satan to live in my head. As I began to listen to reason, which had never really left, God began to restore me. Trust me when I tell you, he tried every trick in the book, but not his time, I made sure I brought different weapons to the table This time around. I stopped trying to do it on my own!

I can now admit that it took YEARS to rid my heart and spirit of these demons, and for years I gave him an open invitation to my heart, and once I finally mentally let him go, he no longer had any claims to me, and although he was so egotistical that he thought he would always have me, he had no clue that it was finally OVER, and that nothing he could say or do could stand up against the POWER of God’. I knew that the GOD that I serve, would not forsake me. My final freedom came when I forgave him, but more importantly, I forgave myself…

Being addicted to someone, is as powerful as being addicted to anything else. Don’t ever think you can kick the habit without faith and help.

Terry D.

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www.glminternational.com

We don’t always have the courage to free ourselves from the strongholds that mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically enslave us…We live lies, walk out that front door, as if all is well and we go on with our everyday lives.  Our minds are twisted and hell ridden, but we haven’t figured out how to let go, how to ask/scream/shout for help.  We begin to rationalize, because we’ve been taught, “What goes on in this house, stays in this house!”  Well, some things need to be screamed to the rooftop.  I think she opened a freeway for women who live lies all of the time, and are afraid to admit it. We want to pretend to have it all together, and we may want to even to happy for the next person, but we don’t know how, because we have no have no idea of what true happiness even looks like.  That’s why we can’t even celebrate the next woman/person, because of our own insecurities – self-inflicted, or by someone else who didn’t truly love us.  Sometimes, airing your dirty laundry, can be the your road to a clean slate of love, security and freedom. http://youtu.be/Kxgod9lSHTA

Terry D.

You tell yourself, that the next person you meet or date, you will take your time and get to know him, but there you are again, faced with the notion that you have to act fast in order to keep him interested, and although we subconsciously know that if he can’t love me for me, and not for just what’s between my legs, I don’t need him; but yet we give in that other conscious that tells us, “It’s okay.”  In the heat of the moment, all “common sense” goes out of the window.  When we’re alone, we feel like we’ve sold our soul to the devil, and promise ourselves that we’ll never do it again.  Self-pity is not going to help you.  You have to pray for clarity, forgive yourself and seek out the root cause!  There are a number of factors that cause us to believe we’re not worthy:

Broken relationships – Childhood – Abuse – Loneliness and the list goes on…

There is not a price large enough to pay for your dignity and nothing or no one can determine your worth, but you!  Sex is just THAT – SEX.  It’s a temporary, unfulfilling feel good intimate interaction!  I’ve found throughout my life, that there is a clear cut difference between sex and making love.  We have sex, until we learn the true meaning of love.  When we begin to experience true love, the idea of “JUST SEX” goes out the window, and the emotional ties that bind the two individuals begin to transcend our hearts and minds. 

When we experience true love and love making, there is no going back…  You want it all or nothing, and now that you know the difference, you are more conscious of your choices, and even if you slip up, you don’t stay there long. Although it seems as though it should be innate for us to value ourselves, life has a way of altering our mindset, but without these experiences, the journey without the experiences are just pop quizzes without a final exam!

Terry D.

As I am afforded the opportunity to travel the States, I find myself up against some angry woman, snarling or rolling her eyes at me.  I often find myself saying, “Does she need a hug?”  We hoard all this pinned up anger, and unleash it like a roaring beast on any and everything that crosses our paths.  I’ve witnessed the most beautiful women, be the ugliest women ever!  It doesn’t take much, because we automatically walk around with a chip on our shoulders – ready for battle!  Get over it, yourself and stop allowing every little thing and everyone to steal your joy, and trying to steal everyone else’s.

Today - I waited an hour to be seated, and now you’re going to seat me in this not-so-fit booth, and now to add injury to insult, you want to seat me at this table in the middle of the restaurant?  I want to speak with the Manager.  I’m unhappy, I’ve been waiting over an hour, and you’re going to find us a seat.  Another customer is so embarrassed, that they offer to change with you, so you can be seated, but yet that’s still unacceptable and not good enough!  This place is ridiculous, and the customer service is horrible.  We are leaving and never coming back here again.  THANK GOD, BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE ANYWAY!

Now, what did you accomplish here, but:

1. Waited in line for over an hour
2. embarrass yourself in front of a crowd of strangers
3. Prove how ugly your heart is, despite your undeniably beautiful face
4. Leave the restaurant even more hungry than you did before you came…
5. NOTHING!!!

HELLO:  NO ONE WANTS AN ANGRY LOUD MOUTH!  SHUT THE “*)#^” UP, AND STOP WITH ALL THE UNNECESSARY DRAMA! 

“People may not remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” - Unknown

Terry D.

I have to think that these learned lessons of love carry over into our Adult love lives with the opposite sex.  Somewhere along the way, we didn’t learn to separate the acceptance of love.  We didn’t learn that all is not fair in love.  Although it’s not okay to allow anyone to mistreat you or your heart, the toleration we learned from loving our family and friends translate in how we accept the unacceptable in relationships.  For so long, we’ve adapted to forgiveness for the crimes committed against our hearts.

We automatically believe we’re innately programmed to love ourselves; therefore we miss and ignore the signs when we fail to do so.  Essentially, this is true since God is love.  We start off loving ourselves, but then almost teach others how to NOT love us by not holding them or ourselves accountable.  We have to love ourselves unconditionally in order to expect someone else to do the same.  The realization of our inability to love ourselves cuts like a knife, but when you face the reality, it opens the door for healing and loving yourself the way you’ve always loved everyone else.

Love YOU FIRST… before you try to love anyone else.

-Terry D.

1. Have you discussed your form of contraception? Condoms can break – does the woman use other forms of birth control?
2. What if there are medical conditions that limit their performance?
3. What if the other person doesn’t have as healthy of a sex drive as you?  When you’ve vested time in this person, now you feel stuck and unsatisfied.
4. What if the person has been assaulted as a child, or even an adult and now has intimacy issues?  This would be good to know and address and be able to work through and get counseling.
5. Has the person ever had any STD’s?  Even though (I HOPE) you’re using protection, this would definitely be something good to know.
6. Do you either of you have orgasm issues?  If this is the case, it can certainly make your partner feel inadequate if they struggle in this arena.
7. Are you monogamous or sleeping with other people?  You need to establish the commitment level of your relationship.  This is one of the biggest misconceptions, because there are assumptions when it comes to whether or not you’re in an “Open” relationship.

While this is not a complete list of things to be discussed, it certainly can help to begin the conversations.  It all boils down to lack of communication.  If sex is used as your form of communication, when all HELL breaks loose and other things aren’t going to so well, the silent pain points are magnified and we begin to focus on all of the other person’s weaknesses.

Instead of couples having these conversations with one another, they go and tell their friends or the person they decided to cheat with because of their dissatisfaction.  The only thing your friends can do is listen or give their advice without knowing the entire story.  If you choose to cheat with someone because you say you’re not satisfied, you’ll never receive the appropriate advice or help, because of the selfish motives of that person.

More than not, we cause our own relationship issues by lack of communicating our needs.  If we knew the answers to these questions before deciding to engage in sex, maybe we could decided before hand if we even wanted to…

After I realized all the soul ties connected to sexual relationships, I finally understood why God commands us to wait until we’re married!

-Terry D.